On This Day – 10 Years Ago

24th of April 2009.

Ten years ago.

My life changed in a way I never could have imagined.

I had a life-saving colostomy operation due to a twisted colon that was about to burst.

It was caused by a mass of endometriosis.

On the same day, the unthinkable happened; my beloved mother was found dead.

What do you when your life falls apart, and you know that you will never be the same again?

How do you find the strength to continue to fight and carry on?

There were times when I wanted to give up, and it felt like I had nothing to live for.

What was the point?

My mother was gone.

I had a stoma bag on my belly.

Carers in my home.

Would I be able to recover?

Was my stoma permanent?

Would I be able to smile again?

To find love?

What was the purpose of this experience?

All these questions.

I could not control the outcome.

All I could do was wait and

and let my body heal.

It was not easy.

I had days when I couldn’t stop crying.

I felt a hole in my heart and my soul.

It was difficult to grieve and at the same time trying to get well and recover.

Something within me told me to keep on fighting.

I had to do it for myself, as well as for my late mother.

I could feel and see her Spirit around me during my recovery, and I did not want her to see me upset.

I had to keep on fighting. 

Thank God, I did not give up.

I became aware that

without my trials and tribulations

I wouldn’t have become the woman I am today.

I found strength and courage.

I am sharing my story because

I want you to know that if you are going through hard times,

please do not give up or suffer in silence.

You are so much stronger than you think you are.

With love,

Cath B